Composed by Jared Emerson-Johnson. All credit goes to him, and to Telltale Games. Lyrics: NOMAFIA Oh baby! Welcome, welcome, generous friends Days and weeks and tokens to spend We're just regular business men Just you and me an' Ted E. Bear. Ted E. Bear's is oodles of fun Slots and sandwiches and poker and guns And look: no mobsters--nary a one With you and me an' Ted E. Bear. Not mafia, no! No mafia, mugs We're mafia-free! No mafia here. What mafia, please! No shady leaves upon the family tree. J. Edgar Hoover always insists Organized crime just doesn't exist QED they're not in our midst Say Edgar, me, an' Ted E. Bear No goons, no droppers, no grifters, no thugs No dips, no clippers, no chippies, no lugs No button-men packing gats loaded with slugs It's you and me an' Ted E. Bear! No mafia here What mafia, please! We're mafia-free! No mafia here No mafia mugs Just doin' business legitimately! Note: QED = Quod Erat Demonstrandum. A phrase that is used to establish that the facts have been laid out, and the argument has been proven. Literally "Which was required to be proved" in Latin. J. Edgar Hoover - First director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Was known for denying the existence of organized crime, as well as a reluctant attitude towards pursuing the Mafia.