Animal welfare but one of many important and critical issues in today's sociopolitical discourse. I will be discussing these issues in the most facetious possible manner. Thank you to 0kaze0 for suggesting this serious topic, which will allow me to cover many crucial facets of modern society including, but not limited to, health care reform, police ineptitude, nepotism, animal rights, child endangerment, child starvation, slavery, blood sport, environmentalism, and organized crime. ...in the most facetious... possible... manner. . . . Interesting (and horrifying) side note: I kinda threw the words "Mexican dog fighting" in there because I guess I'm a closet racist (actually, I was thinking of that one episode of Venture Bros.). I actually knew that it wasn't legal in Mexico, though. What I DIDN'T know was that it IS legal in Japan (which explains some things). Seriously, Japan, wtf. WTF.